I watched Bella intently as we ate in silence and I tried to weigh all my options regarding her previous question. At the heart of it, it was a simple choice: either I wanted to be with Bella again or I didn’t. I took a sip of my drink and looked at her from the corner of my eye, watching as she licked some peanut butter from her bottom lip.
She had been through a lot of shit in the past few years, but the crux of it all was that I couldn’t help but think that she was still the same girl I was madly in love with for a few short months. She seared herself into my heart on the very first day I met her, and if I am being honest with myself, I’ve never truly let go of her. I tried, oh how I had tried to move on, but I had never truly let myself be with anyone else again.
Bella was it for me, I knew that, but I also couldn’t help that niggling voice in the back of my head reminding me how completely she had broken me. Between the loss of our baby, her father and her appalling behavior with Peter, I wasn’t sure I could move past everything. I didn’t know how.
“Are you alright?” Bella asked, as she finished her toast and put her crumb-filled plate on the coffee table.
“You seem tense."
“Yeah... just thinking.”
** I promise this is with pre-readers and I am hoping to get it posted soon. However, RL has shit all over me lately (my kid is pretty sick and I have a trade-show this week for work.) The next chapter may take a little bit before I post**