The next morning finds me passed out, face down, on Alice's old couch with my clothes from the night before still on. Alice is cheerily dancing about to Shake It Out by Florence and the Machine, while trying to make a pot of coffee.
"Well, good morning princess. How are you feeling?" she asks, her smile wide as I groan and roll over, covering my eyes with my arm.
"I feel like shit," I grumble as I attempt to sit up and wonder just how much I drank last night. "Why am I so fucking hungover and you are as perky as tits on a Playboy Playmate?"
"Cause I drank this," Alice announces as she holds up her blender which, honest to go, looks like it is filled with green chunky puke. "It's an ancient Chinese herbal remedy that my mother swears by." I stand up, albeit a bit wobbly, and approach Alice tentatively. The closer I get, the worse the smell is."
"How did you choke that shit back?" I ask, covering my mouth and keeping my distance.
"It smells worse than it tastes."
"That's what she said," I remark as Alice rolls her eyes and then offers to pour me a glass of her toxic concoction. "Before I even consider swallowing down this bile, what's in it?"
"Raw egg, lemon juice, tomato juice, wheatgrass, orange juice, some Tabasco sauce, honey and a bunch of other things. You can barely taste anything... really." I pinch my nose and grab the drink, anxiety and pure alcohol coursing through my veins. Alice raises her eyes and looks at me encouragingly as I throw caution to the wind and down the drink in one go. "See, that wasn't so bad, right?"
Not a minute later, I'm rushing into Alice's bathroom and puking my guts out while staring at her knitted ballerina toilet paper cover, which was clearly a leftover from Nana Brandon. "You are the devil, Alice. You didn't drink that shit, did you?"
"Well, I sort of did," Alice replies as she stands against the door jamb for her bathroom and smiles at me with ease. "Then I puked it up. I think it cleared all the booze of out of my system."
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